From the Archive: An Email

**This is an email I received from a ‘fan’ a couple of years back and thought I would post it; it helps me to remember that I am desirable, and if it helps just one other larger lady realise it too, then it would make me a very happy pleased thing! **

“First, and the most important, you have a brain.  Intelligent women are always attractive; men like a woman who can argue with them on an equal level (some even like a woman to be able to talk down to them!).  Intelligence is an aphrodisiac.  Also the brain is the biggest and most powerful sex organ in the body.  So you are streets ahead of all those fluffy bimbos.

Second you are shy. God love us, but men love shy women.  It must be to do with your vulnerability, it appeals to the masculine genes.  It’s not that you are open to abuse but that you are willing to be shown what guys like and boy do they like to show you what they like!!  Of course half the time it’s nothing you want but the other half you can take and mould as you wish.  Despite everything you read or hear we are putty in your hands!

Already you are a sex kitten and we haven’t even touched your body………………..what a divine thought!

Now your body. Where to start. Obvious place your big breasts.  Despite some proclaiming that more than a handful is a waste most men are ‘tit’ men, we like them big, we like to carress them, to suckle on them and generally to enjoy there look and feel. Plus points to you again.

Next your thighs.  Leg men claim that they love slim legs that go on forever, phooey!  When a man settles down (or is forced) between a woman’s thighs to do what a good man should (worship her epicentre with his mouth and his tongue), does he want the possibility of a bone grinding on his face?  Of course not, what he wants is a well padded thigh where he can rest his head as he pleasures his lady (in some cases he also likes the idea if that if the woman feels like it she can damn near crush him….a thought that could have him cumming quicker than you wish, lol).  More plus points to you.

Your bottom. What is there to say about your bottom?  Lots but it is easiest expressed thus. Men like big bottoms.  Ask an honest man about what constitutes and oversized bottom he will tell you that there ain’t no thing as  a booty that is too big.  We love them, every inch.  More plus points.

Your epicentre (your vagina, your pussy, your cunt, whatever you call it depending on where you arousal is at that particular moment) is beautiful  I don’t even have to look, it is divine.  Fat, skinny, black or white, they are all beautiful.  The ugly one does not exist.

Your tummy, your oh so lovely belly.  So, your man has just driven you wild with his friendly attack on your epicentre, you are both exhausted.  Does he want to rest his head on a hard washboard?  No, a nice, soft, pillowy belly is perfect.  Lying there inches from your aromatic epicentre, the most comfortable place on the planet at that time.  Close enough your  aroma fills his nostrils, close enough you can lay your hands on his head and, if you wish, encourage him to start again. You win again.”

Thank you Jim .. I can’t tell you how lovely it was to receive that .. and it helps me to understand a little why I have fans .. and hope for the future ..!

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Watching Men Wank

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OK, so one of the meme’s I thought I would take part in this year on the blog is ‘Masturbation Monday’.  If you that know me already, you probably know that watching a man jack off is a bit of a kink of mine.  Why? I really don’t know but I thought I would try to explain it a little here in case it helps me unearth some deeply hidden something or other that helps me understand!

I suppose on the surface, the thought of a guy being so turned on by me that he has to beat the Bishop is simply enough for me. I have been treated so unkindly in the past and told that no one would ever fancy me or want to fuck me, that I suppose it’s still a little of a surprise when someone does.  These days, watching a guy choking his chicken is a lot easier than it used to be!  When I first came online, it was done for sure, but guys seemed a lot more reserved than they seem to be now!

I suppose the one this working against me is that I am not a fan of reciprocation.  I mean yes, at some point I will flick my bean whilst remembering the session, but I tend to want to pay 100% attention in real time and soak it all in .. and not be worrying about what I look like on cam.  This is why I will always say that I don’t do it and will understand if they no longer want to but if they still want to perform a five finger shuffle and let me watch, then they are more than welcome to, and a fair amount do – we are a generation of exhibitionists you know!

I also like receiving videos; I once ran a little challenge called #WankforLou which entailed guys basically having a wank in my name and letting me know about it so that I could ‘count’ it – my aim was 1 million but due to various reasons I had to stop. Maybe I should start it up again, what do you think?

I think one of the reasons I like it is that I can see the affect of the stimulation on a cock.  I am also well know for my love of seeing a flaccid cock get hard on cam and will always ask a guy if that’s possible.  When giving a handjob or watching someone jerkin the gerkin, you can see how hard his cock gets, feel it pulsating, feel the heat running through the shaft and then when he cums, I love to sit and watch it.  A twitchy cock is one of my most favourite sights.

I think this stems from a time when I was much younger – too young really, when a boy I was at school with took me into an empty classroom and asked me to hold his willy for him in exchange for some (oh so romantic and not at all cliched) chocolate.  I remember at the time thinking how warm and hard it was .. and HUGE. I think it was the first I had seen and certainly the first erection I had been around.

I often wonder now actually if he was as well endowed as I thought back then .. either way I’m kind of ashamed to say that I have often fantasised about meeting up with him at the school reunion and getting to see for myself.  We have one this year in July.  Maybe I’ll get lucky?

So there we are. If you didn’t know already, now you know what my ‘thing’ is and can email or tweet me immediately offering to go on cam for me anytime, and I will be all coy and tell you maybe one day, but secretly will be trying to work out when I can get some privacy in this mad house so that I can watch you … and again … and again … and again .. Please?!

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Week #122

In Fear of … Casual Sex

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This is something I struggle with, and I have no idea why!  My rational head says:

“You only have to meet and have sex, not fall in love and live happily ever after”

and

“You don’t ever have to see them ever again if you don’t want to”

but still I can’t bring myself to meet any of the very sexy, VERY up for it guys I have met over the years.  Don’t get me wrong, I have actually met a couple of guys that I have met on Twitter; a few have then made it into my bed, but some haven’t.  I always set out saying to anyone I meet that there is no guarantee of anything sexual happening; we meet for a drink / some food and then go from there.

I think what I get so caught up in is the ridiculousness of the whole ‘will I fancy him’ thing. I am most definitely a gal that has to feel something in order to sleep with someone (or at least I am for the moment).  I have to fancy him, find him attractive in some way (not always physical I might add), there has to be a certain amount of *spark*.

Now, I am not silly enough to think that the angels will sing and the trumpets play, or that I will instantly fall in love with them and want to have a relationship with them .. but actually that adds to the panic – what if I do? What if I like him more that he likes me? What if I fall for him in a big way and he treats me like shit?  All of this is borne from bad experiences in the past and I know that I would have to be really unlucky to go through what I went through all over again, but when you get burnt, it stays with you, you know?

Funnily enough, although I am very careful about meeting strangers (giving detailed information to at least 2 friends, just in case), the fear of meeting an axe-murderer isn’t something I actually think about – I suppose it might be due to the fact that i am a pretty good internet stalker and tend to know a lot more about my potential play-mates than they possibly think! 😉

Every year, I tell myself, nay I promise myself that things will change and that i will finally meet someone for some random hot fucking, and it never happens. I always chicken out or come up with an excuse as to why I can’t meet them.

I use my living situation as an excuse, or my job, or I panic and act like I’m a 15 year old girl who’s a virgin.. and why??

All because I let my past rule me.

This needs to change.  Not only because I’m going to be 38 this year and haven’t had sex for FAR TOO LONG, but also because I need to stop letting my past rule my present.  I have made a start in other areas of my life and have felt the most amazing relief, and am ready to move on in this area too.

I got the inspiration for this post after reading what Hyacinth said in her blog.  She lists the reason why a casual hookup partner doesn’t have to be ‘perfect’, just good enough for now, and it made me think about why I am my won worst enemy in getting what I want!

This is her conclusion and it spoke to me …

The thing about casual sex, especially when all the boxes get ticked, is that it feels like self-care, like meditation after a long day.  It re-centers me and reminds me of my humanness.  Participating in this thing that practically every other person on the planet also participates in connects me to the essence of what it is to be alive and safe and healthy.  Forgiving myself for my preferences and my urges is one step, maintaining a healthy distance is another.

Next step, unrelated to the rules of casually fucking, is making sure I protect enough emotional energy for the real healing I need to happen {…}.  At some point, none of these rules will apply and I’ll need something real.  I’ll want to be loved again and hopefully love in return.

So tell me, are you in fear of casual sex?  What stops you from meeting guys and gals for mind-blowing sex?  What else are you fearful of when it comes to sex?  I feel a blog series coming on ..!

#Boobday

For those of you that have hung around me for a while, you will know that I love my boobs and equally love showing them off to you all.  Why wouldn’t I? They’re my best asset and they seem to get a lot of attention around here!

So when I found Hyacinth’s blog and discovered her love of boobs, I knew I had to join in!  Without delay, here is the latest picture of my boobs for your enjoyment!

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Every Friday is Boobday!

Looking Forward to 2017

I usually set myself goals each year, rather than resolutions.  I set them for myself personally and my businesses, but this year I thought I would set myself some that pertain more to this side of myself.  Some of the items on this list will seem a little  ‘easy’ for some people and some will seem totally random for others – please just respect that all of the items I have listed are listed for a reason and are things that I want to improve on or challenge myself with this coming year.

I would love to know what you think and whether you think there is something missing that should be aded to the list too – remember this is just what I want to achieve this coming year, and not a bucket list – that will come later!

Blogging / Writing

  1. Write and post at least one erotic short story once a month on my blog not linked to any meme.
  2. Submit to e[Lust] 4 times.
  3. Post on my blog a minimum of 100 times.
  4. Read and Review 2 erotic books.
  5. Watch and Review 2 erotic films.
  6. Test and Review 2 erotic toys / pieces of equipment.
  7. Reach 1,001 views on my blog.
  8. Take part in Wicked Wednesday 12 times.
  9. Have 2,017 followers on Twitter.
  10. Write a ’99 Things about Me’ post.
  11. Comment on 52 different blogs.
  12. Get 12 people to guest post for the blog.
  13. Write a post for the Pussy Pride Project.

Projects

  1. Flesh out the idea and plans for ‘Project A’.
  2. Launch / Post about ‘Project A’.
  3. Write 12 Posts linked to ‘Project A’.
  4. Flesh out the idea and plans for ‘Project B’.
  5. Launch / Post about ‘Project B’.
  6. Write 12 Posts linked to ‘Project B’.
  7. Flesh out the idea and plans for ‘Project C’.
  8. Launch / Post about ‘Project C’.
  9. Write 12 Posts linked to ‘Project C’.

Photography

  1. Knock off 12 places for the Scavenger Hunt.
  2. Create a page on my blog for my Scavenger Hunt images.
  3. Have someone take some arty-naughty pictures of me.
  4. Complete an A-Z ‘naughty’ photography challenge.
  5. Take part in Sinful Sunday 12 times.

Sex!

  1. Have Sex!
  2. Masturbate on cam.
  3. Be fingered to orgasm.
  4. Orgasm 3 times in one day (with someone else,not myself).
  5. Squirt.
  6. Have sex outdoors.
  7. Have sex in a car.
  8. Get some nipple clamps.

Kinkery!

  1. Attend a local munch.
  2. Explore my Domme side with someone.
  3. Explore my submissive side with the right person.
  4. Be spanked, properly.

Personal Care and Development

  1. Have a Manicure.
  2. Have a Pedicure.
  3. Get my eyelashes dyed.
  4. Wear a skirt 12 times.
  5. Wear prettier underwear at least 52 times.
  6. Wear pretty shoes at least 12 times.

Misc.

  1. Attend Eroticon.
  2. Meet 20 other bloggers / kinky peeps in person.
  3. Make £100 with this blog or associated accounts.

Howdy, Hi, Hello!

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I really hate writing these first posts; I’m meant to tell you about me and what I plan to write in the blog .. but if I’m honest, I’m not sure!

On the outside, I am a single British upper middle class woman in her late 30’s who is self-employed working from home.  I went to private school, have a father that was pretty important in the Armed Forces, have held good jobs in decent, well renowned companies and have been a member of several well-to-do type organisations, all of which gives me a bit of a ‘Goody Goody’ image.

But that’s only half of me, the other half is a bit of a minx!

I lost my virginity ‘later’ than usual at the age of 24 and since then I have been a little obsessed with sex.  I don’t mean I have an addiction as such, but I find the whole subject of sex, fetishes, desires, fantasies and basically anything else sex-related, fascinating.

In about 2007 I entered into the online adult world; I actually can’t remember what came first – Twitter or my blog (I’m going to guess at Twitter) but I soon became immersed in the adult blogging realm, blogging about sex and writing erotica .. even though I wasn’t getting any.  I met some fantastic people along the way, many of which I am still in contact with (they’re the true heroes that put up with my and my nerves) and learnt a HELL of a lot!

I learnt about so many new things; things that turned me on (a lot of which I was totally side swiped by), more about the BDSM lifestyle which fascinates me (as well as turning me on) and I also learnt a lot about individual desires and fantasies.

Since then I have been through many names, some of which I still use in some places and some of which you may recognise (if you do say Hi – I love reconnecting!), including SexaholicBBW, LouiseBBW, Lusciously_Lou and Nawty_Ems.  Most of these name changes have been due to being suspended on Twitter, but some because of other reasons, which I may well go into detail later in this blog.

Currently I am going by the name of @TillyTalksUK.

Why am I back with another name?  Because I am learning to embrace my true self and trying very hard not to be ashamed of it.  It’s hard and I am only partway through the journey but I hope that I can get to a place where I feel comfortable with every part of me, or at least publicly being proud of every part of me, without having to hide half of me away.

So I hope that you will consider following me on Twitter as well as keeping up with this blog and join me on this never ending journey of mine!